Hello, my people!
Today I want to talk to y'all about perfectionism! Perfectionism, comparison, and insecurity are things that I struggle with periodically and that have been on my heart a lot lately. I am going to do whatever it takes to make 24 a year of confidence, but I'm not there yet. I wanted to get y'all's thoughts on this.
Being creative is a glorious thing. (Other glorious things: pumpkin spice candles, movies in the theater, black skinny jeans...the list goes on.) But what if the art you make isn't P-E-R-F-E-C-T? What then? I put a lot of pressure on myself to make things that meet my very high standards. This is something I've struggled with in regards to my novel and most recently, this blog.
The thing about perfectionism is that it never leaves you satisfied. There is always something new to fix, improve upon, chase. This struggle leaves me feeling either super prideful or super insecure, neither of which I want to be. I don't want to hold others or myself to ridiculous standards and I don't want to feel paralyzed by so much self-awareness. It's not always as intense as I'm making it sound, but yo, it can be a real thing.
I don't think social media helps. There is nothing wrong with art or expression, but when we try to control our image so much that it starts to consume us, we lose ourselves. I'll be real with y'all, I put a lot of thought and time and planning into this blog and sometimes it kills me that it's not "perfect." Part of me wants to delete everything and start over, which is the timeless Ye Olde Blogging Struggle.
But I'd rather be honest than perfect.
I'd rather be real than perfect.
In a world where much is false, I want to love. After taking some time off from blogging this summer, I realized that that is what I want in life. To create, yes, but not to pursue perfection. My legs are weary from chasing unrealistic ideals for too long. I want to be filled with others and not self, and keep in mind that the ones who appear most polished are often the most broken.
This is my prayer.
Is perfection or comparison something you struggle with? What are ways you combat that? Have you ever thought about deleting your blog and starting again?
Happy Friday, friends! ♥
THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS. I always need a reminder that He doesn't expect perfection from me in all my activities. I always tell myself "He gave me these talents, so they need to please Him!" but me just using my talents is what He wants right now. He's not in a hurry. I don't have to force the expectation of perfection on myself. <3
ReplyDeleteNo problem! :) This is something I have to remind myself of every day - to avoid comparison and the illusion of perfection and just love life! I love your heart - the Lord has gifted us all to serve Him but we needn't stress about it. It's humbling to remind ourselves that the Lord doesn't need us to serve Him, but He chooses to work through us anyway! :) <3 Keep on keeping on, girl!
DeleteI agree. It's better to be honest and real than perfect. As a human I have never considered myself a perfectionist. I use to think that people who were had their life together but it turns out didn't. Sounds like you know where you want to go!
ReplyDeleteGOSH NO. I am someone who has never taken a break from blogging since I have started. (which is rare) but I would always want to look back at the things I have posted. A huge part of starting a blog was to save memories. Biggest fear is that blogger will shut down it's site or that websites will become none relevant in the future.
I love your perspective! I think blogs can be a lot like online journals and looking back at them can encourage and inspire us to keep moving forward. :) I love the idea of a blog saving memories on a website. And yes, I have definitely worried about Blogger shutting down before. I don't know if buying my own web hosting would help this? It's something to consider!
DeleteI have been struggling with this quite a bit lately. Social media - as you mentioned - doesn't help, so when things get overwhelming I delete all the apps for a week or two to clear my head and focus on living me life. I also try not to watch YouTube videos that make me covet another person's life.
ReplyDeleteFrom time to time I've considering deleting my blog. But every time something stops me. There are memories I don't want to delete. Pieces of myself in every single post. Nowadays I make a new blog (tehe) or just take a hiatus.
Thank you for writing this. I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one struggling with this. <3
Deleting apps is a great idea! I deactivated my Facebook for a time to help with this. You're smart to know your limits and actively help yourself out. I think that's something I need to do more of!
DeleteI think a hiatus is a great way to get creatively recharged. :) Unplugging from the computer and taking a moment to just breathe and reassess real-life priorities can make blogging more fun!
No problem! Thank you for commenting!! <3
Perfection is such a hard thing. I struggle with it constantly. And social media definitely doesn't make it better. Taking a step back to regroup always helps. <3
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you struggle with this! :( It's so odd that social media, the medium that is supposed to bring us closer to people, actually pushes us away sometimes. I definitely need to take regular breaks to refresh myself!
DeleteThis: But I'd rather be honest than perfect.
ReplyDeleteI'd rather be real than perfect.
That's my goal too. To me, it's the most powerful thing. Internet life is hard, because it's such a small slice of what we're really like. I find it hard to convey myself honestly online, you know? I feel like I need to tell my blog readers how crazy and immature I can be, and that I stay in my pyjamas all day sometimes, and I have a lot of faults.
I guess keeping in mind that it's a journey is comforting. We'll be learning to blog as long as we're doing it. The imperfections are just lessons. But I hear what you're saying in this post. Perfectionism is a hard taskmaster. I hope you're able to find confidence in Him this year, and please don't let fear stop you from creating. Thanks for letting me spill in this comment. I always appreciate your posts. xx
I'm glad you can relate! It's TOTALLY a struggle to remain 100% authentic online. I love design and aesthetics and filters but those things can also make things seem MUCH more glamorous than they are. It's a double-edged sword!
DeleteI feel the same way about revealing my flaws. Because I want y'all to remember that what we see in the blogging / social media is often our best foot forward, not the true reality.
Yes, it's totally a journey! :) I'm looking forward to leaning into Him this year. I really appreciate your comment! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me. :) <3
YES YES YESSS GIRL
ReplyDeleteThis is literally a sermon I needed to hear.
I struggle a LOT with perfectionism. It can be very bad with my creativity, but it's so much worse with my schoolwork. I'll often spend much longer than everyone else in my class working on a project because I'll be overthinking everything and trying to make it flawless. Which is impossible! Humans cannot make flawless things because we are flawed beings. It's in our DNA now.
What isn't flawed is the Spirit of God in us. What isn't flawed is Jesus' promise to give us rest and to equip us to do our very best. What isn't flawed is the assurance of a life after this one, a life much, much grander and better and far beyond what we could ever imagine.
That's what gets me through my chronic perfectionism.
That and some good tunes. Music is straight-up medicine; it heals me faster than any pharmaceutical drug ever has.
(Thanks again for this and for your sweet comment on my post! Praying for you and everyone else in the path of the hurricane(s). Be safe and blessed and filled with peace!)
O | Life as a Young Lady
That's so true - perfectionism is a doomed pursuit since we can't be perfect in this life! And I think there is some solace in that. In knowing that it can't be achieved, and that we can just rest.
DeleteLove your wisdom about the Lord and His perfection! Honestly, I need to seek His face more and let the Spirit reign. That is where the true perfection and power is! :-)
Oooh yes music is the bomb! Literally one of my favorite things!!
Thank you SO MUCH for your prayers! <3 Power just came back on and we were blessed to not get a ton of damage. Thanks again!! <3
I didn't realize we were the same age until now. ^ ^ That's cool. :) I definitely struggle with perfectionism. XD I don't like making mistakes.
ReplyDeletestoritorigrace.blogspot.com
You're 24? That's awesome! *high five* :) I hate making mistakes, too. I'm way too hard on myself about these kinds of things but everyone is flawed. No one can be perfect! Thanks for your comment. <3 :)
DeleteWe are so so so much alike and this is my heart-struggle, always. I so badly want to say "I'd rather be honest than perfect. I'd rather be real than perfect", and mean it, but so often, I just want to look like I have it all together, no matter what the reality is! I'm working so hard on changing this mindset, but wow, it's so ingrained in me! Thanks for this post and encouragement! <3
ReplyDeleteI TOTALLY feel you on this. For me it's like an odd mix of pride and insecurity that makes me want to appear like I have things together / make great art when on the inside I'm like a #HotMess. I'm praying that we both will be able to make progress and have the Lord's peace with this! Thank you so much for you kind words!! <3
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