Tuesday, December 8, 2015

build a rocket ship & fly it far away

I'm starting to realize something about myself that I somehow always knew: 
I only need a handful of people in my life to be happy.

Yes, I must have always known this. But I'm seeing this truth in action as of late. While of course the craziness of finals week can make even the most social of souls reclusive and erratic, it's somehow shown me just how small a fraction of people I truly reach out to and allow to get close to me. Which sometimes can be a little lonely.

I don't say this as a negative thing, just as an observation. Does anyone else share my mindset? Maybe it's just the stress of a busy semester falling off of me, but right now I feel like I could just run away from my hometown and start a new adventure in a woodsy town I've never seen, where every face is fresh.

Is that calloused? Is that awful? Or is that the nature of being 22?
Your thoughts appreciated! 

Forgive me, my thoughts are coming out like scrambled eggs because I'M FINALLY FREE OF FINALS!

+ A big, BIG thank you to all of you who commented and shared your sweet thoughts on my last post. Reading every word from you guys made me smile during a crazy week! But praise the Lord, finals are over! School is done! The chaos is complete! And my mom and I got to see the Hunger Games today and it was #sogood.

6 comments:

  1. You know, I think that's a normal pattern of getting older. I mean, I'll be 25 next month...so it isn't as if I'm way older than you and have a bunch of wisdom to impart. But my life now consists of my husband, our families, and, like, four close friends.

    We do have more responsibilities and less time to spend with others now, so we've naturally had to prioritize our relationships. But I think it's something more than that. As time has passed, I know more about what I want and who I am, and I'm not so worried about pleasing everyone around me.

    I'm much less likely to do something just because my friends want to these days. And the only friends who have stuck around have done so because they value me and I value them. Relationships that were more based on utility have sort of fallen by the wayside. And I think we're all happier for it.

    Sorry, this is so long. But I relate! You are not alone!

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    1. "But my life now consists of my husband, our families, and, like, four close friends."

      ^ You literally just described the dream. And no, thank you for the long comment! I love it! I think that having fewer friendships even allows those friendships to grow deeper. It's sort of a quality vs. quantity thing. (:

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    1. You are too kind! I'm glad you like it. Thanks so much!

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  3. This post is lovely. I feel too, that as time goes by I have less and less people in my life...but those who remain are the true gems. I've felt lonely in the past, but in this recent year I have learned to become more open with the people closest to me and all the negativity I've battled with seems to be disappearing...and whenever it resurfaces again, I look to those people closest to me for reassurance. I wish I didn't need it, but I think it's the kind of thing I could never outgrow.

    I finished uni a few years ago, and all I remember is feeling lost and a sense of relief that that was all over.

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    1. The true gems, yes! I hold onto those souls that I still keep myself surrounded with. :) Good for you! Opening up is hard but we are made as relational people. It's important to share those things.

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Go with grace.