Bellydancer & Barney

Partners in crime since 1995.

I Should Be Studying, But...

....there are two verses that you cannot go another second without reading, and they are as follows:

"Elisha told them, 'This is not the road and this is not the city. Follow me, and I will lead you to the man you are looking for.' And he led them to Samaria." ~ 2nd Kings 6:19

and

"Then they said to each other, 'We're not doing right. This is a day of good news and we are keeping it to ourselves.'"~ 2nd Kings 7:9a

Today in Theology class I learned all about how the plan of the Lord cannot fail because He has already taken into account my will and choices. The first verse reminded me that when it is time, He will lead me on the right path to find my dude and the second convicted me to share the Gospel. Just little blurbs of insight into what I'm learning.

Now, to avoid studying entirely.
#nophototogowiththis #don'tcare #toosleepy #whatissleep #graceandpeaceout

FIRE

I have nothing more to say other than I am simply amazed at the sovereignty of the Lord in His leading me to the Word of Life Bible Institute. He is igniting my heart for His people, and setting my soul ablaze for the Gospel. Bible college has been rad, folks. The Word of God is alive.

"Sorrowful, yet always rejoicing" ~ 2nd Corinthians 6:10a

Fire Burning

don't see it as conviction; see it as inspiration

Jesus has a way of revealing truth, of exposing my insides and poking at all the little holes and areas of inconsistency within me. I knew that this year at the Bible Institute was going to be one of intense growth, and I am so glad to see the things He is showing me daily. Today I learned that I have struggles in the area of emotional purity and contentment with my circumstances.

By desiring a relationship above all, I am telling God that where I am at right now is not good enough for me. By focusing on a relationship that I have not yet attained, I am throwing all my emotions into an idol and distraction that is not God. I long to see Him change me daily, as He is already doing, so that I may grow into the woman of Christ that I have always longed to be. It is my prayer that my focus would change and that I would pursue the Lord wholeheartedly.

Yet even in my inadequacy and insecurity and exhaustion, God continues to use me to uphold others and encourage them in their walk. He puts people in my path that I never could have seen coming, that were a part not of my plan, but of His. One verse I am fond of is this:

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." ~ Romans 8:28

He is never done using us. And everything has a purpose! By the way, I had computer problems while trying to write this so clearly someone must need to hear it. The devil always opposes things, especially where technology is concerned. At least, this has been my experience.

If anyone has any prayer requests, lemme know. I'd love to pray for you!
Peace out, Tuesday. Peace out.

drained of color, we look to You

Golden Fields Forever

Hold up! Wait a minute! This post comes with music. Click here~

Christmas Cheer

Photographs of good Christmas cheer found online.

Blame it on the *only slight* drop in temperature here in Florida, but I am starting to seriously crave Christmas. I know we're only halfway through October, but I'm ready for the Christmas morning waffles my mom makes, red plaid quilts, flannels of all sorts, and fleece jammy pants. As I grow closer to the Lord, I also want to celebrate Christmas as more than just a time to snuggle with my family around our decidedly fake pine tree. Instead, it is the time we celebrate the King's arrival on the earth. It is really amazing when you think that the Lord of heaven, who created us and gave us hands and consciousness and colors, pulled on a frail coat of humanity to live and then die for us. And that's a whole lot better than waffles.

Thank You

I don't know what to say other than God, my Lord Jesus Christ, is good. Even in my weakness and frailty He is abundantly strong. And He has no need of my words or songs of praise or of my gratitude, but He allows me to worship Him. He could have left broken man broken, but not only did He redeem us but He lets us supremely enjoy life. I see in color, and I have arms; I know the sound of violins, and I have tasted chocolate substances on numerous occasions. I can run and breathe and there such things as seasons and sisters and stars. All of these things are luxuries, but this is life, this is living.

"For in Him we live and move and have our being." ~ Acts 17:28a

What a God that cares for His creation!

seven songs: afternoon

Take one heaping cup of awesome + two gallons of glorious, divine, otherworldly, insert-your-favorite-adjective-here weather + a couple of wonderful yearbook companions + seven songs, bake for two and a half hours and you, my friend, will arrive at the perfect Afternoon.

seven songs: afternoon edition

"dream on" -- aerosmith
"nova baby" -- the black keys
"afternoon" -- youth lagoon
"girl" -- the beatles
"the pipe" -- kings of summer soundtrack
"on trees and birds and fire" -- i am oak
"trees" -- twenty one pilots

The Day No One Wanted to End

When I prayed today that God would do awesome things I did not expect, I definitely did not expect the Lord to grant me a sharp focus for class, a new passion for the Word and prayer, a decadent cookie dough brownie, a woodland adventure full of photography, friends and glorious view, impromptu worship leading, and the dang splendid event that produced this wonderful run-in with The World's Smallest (and Creepiest) McDonald's. Would you like to SuperSize that? #no

"For when You did awesome things that we did not expect, You came down, and the mountains trembled before You." ~ Isaiah 64:3

Click here for the soundtrack to the perfect day.

A Loving Slap in the Face

I'm going to be honest with you: For a long time now I have been pushing God away on the subject of relationships. Having a relationship has become my little god, my idol, one that I constantly think about and worry over and just generally let bother me. It has become a bit of a thorn in the flesh, or at least I have allowed it to be. My sister and I had a good prayer and conversation about this issue this afternoon, and then the sweet dean of women at my college posted this delightful quote:

"When I have learned to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. In so far as I learn to love my earthly dearest at the expense of God and instead of God, I shall be moving towards the state in which I shall not love my earthly dearest at all. When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased." ~ C.S. Lewis 

It was a kind of delightful, Clive-Staples-y answer to prayer. I have been looking for fulfillment in a relationship instead of finding it in my Lord. How can I love anyone when I depend so much upon them? How could I uplift a man of Christ adequately if I am not focused on Christ? So it was a wake up call. A slap in the face. Much needed, and welcomed. 

>> Also, I realize that the above photo has little to no bearing on the body of this post, but it is one of the only photos I have on my computer right now of the trip my family and I took to St. Augustine two years ago (hence the 19), and I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT ST. AUGGY. #takemeback #iwannago #nowwouldbegreat #ican't #toobusystudyintheWord #soonthough

Hey, you. Fall is coming, Fall is here. And the trees know the secrets of the autumn song. Do not despair. 

Songs of Surrender

I sat in the old familiar pew, the fourth row from the back. The cups were passed around for communion, while my father sat playing the grand piano. I have been away for a month, but now I am home. And I do not believe I have ever heard my father play with such passion as I have today. The music was neither loud nor calling particular attention to itself, but instead it was tender and soft, pleading. My sister and mother and I all sat listening. And I thought of what a wonderful life this is and what a blessing it is to have been born into a family of feelers.

Today was a day for living.

>> Also, these songs are currently rocking my world: one, two, three.

Like a Rolling Stone

There's nothing quite so strange as coming home after you've been away for quite some time. The colors feel warmer, your parents seem older, but the food is about 800,000 times more rich.

Film Friday #8

The second house that my family owned, the house that I equate with childhood and climbing trees and gaps in my gums and fishing poles was also the house that my grandparents spent their lives in before moving to a condo. The house was on a simple cul-de-sac on the edge of a busy road, but I didn't know anything other than I had a huge yard at my disposal, full of great oaks and lots of grass to play on. In the middle of the cul-de-sac there was a retention pond. It wasn't much to speak of, but to me, it was the greatest thing imaginable. There wasn't a day I didn't spend my time out by the water, fishing with stale crumbs of bread and skinning my knees under the white-hot Florida sun.

My family lived around my neighborhood, too -- one aunt beside us, one across the pond. I didn't realize until recently just how blessed and special those moments were.

When my grandparents moved to their condo, my grandmother started a photo wall. There was a long white entryway leading into their home, a blank canvas prime for photo-hanging. And so hang she did. My grandmother filled that hallway with framed photographs of parents, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren....the wall bulged and swelled with the film impressions of family until it was so full she had to tape photographs in between the spaces where faces hung.

When my grandparents died, we took the wall down.
But the photos still remain, memories pressed into pictures.
Maybe I'll start my own photo wall one day.

Films: Moonrise Kingdom

It is rare, although not altogether impossible, for a film to come along and completely change the way I view the cinema. It is even rarer that I would encounter this film on the day of my birth. Leave it to director and Master of Quirk, Wes Anderson, to accomplish both feats with his whimsical and wonderful Moonrise Kingdom. If you have an hour and thirty-four minutes to spare, go find this film and make your day a little more jubilant. 

Salvation & Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream

This truck bought to you by a better photographer than I. *image found online*

You know when God repeats a lesson in your life in an effort to get you to wake up and notice Him? Over and over again, Christ has been burning in me the desire to share the Gospel with the unsaved. I have always been the type of person that hid behind lifestyle evangelism, other wise known as Not Speaking Up and Talking About Salvation.

While it is true that my friends may have noticed that I live differently because I'm a Christian, this hasn't exactly motivated them to trust in Christ as their personal Savior. Jesus is showing me in the most passionate, loving way that it is time to show love with not only through my lifestyle, but by vocalizing His message of true hope. 

In other news, all during the last hour of class I could not shake the thought of cake and ice cream. Something chocolate-y and warm with something cold and sweet. It was torturous, my friends. And then what was being served at lunch other than brownies and Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream? (My favorite flavor on the face of this good earth).

He cares about the little things, people. 

"Ice cream is happiness condensed." -- Jessie Lane Adams

a prayer

The trees tremble in their trunks, holding long necks aloft to gaze at the heavens, screaming to all who will listen that Christ is Lord. I am but a rib cage before You, cracking and crafted out of the earth, woven from the ground. I was intended to be art, a living poem. And I was made to know You. But I am full of blackened things and false motives.

In my weakness, be the Shout of resounding strength.

Remake Me

Delightful photography of shack sadly not my own.

Funny how leaves have to fall off before the tree can burst with bright green leaves again. Autumn is painted red across these gentle giants, clothing them in the color of pain, reminding me that sometimes even death is beautiful.

Satisfied Sunday: Nature

You know the day is going to be splendid when you step outside and it is officially Sweater Weather. (Not that there is ever not a time to wear sweaters. I believe long sleeves are universal garments.) And indeed, today only went from Radical to Awesomesauce as it progressed.

Today I just feel so alive! The Lord is speaking to me quite loudly through nature. In every moment, He is here with me and is reminding me just what kind of a powerful, artistic Creator He is. My sister and I explored a well-tucked-away corner of our college campus today, and found the most amazing nature trail!! Sunday also included a wonderful walk in an expansive field, watching all the little barnyard animals doing their little barnyard thing; chilly temperatures of great mirth; sweet friends; and the Greatest Chocolate Muffin Known to Man.

God is also making no small deal about the Gospel. Folks, I'll be blunt and just let you know that I really don't share it. I have so many unsaved friends that I love dearly, but I have yet to open up my mouth and actually present God's plan of hope with them. I'll hint around it for ages, but God is showing me that that's not enough. I need to share the Word with a perishing people! This is the focus of my year: growing in Him and the Gospel. I want to be able to say I've led someone (or many someones!) to Christ.

This was a great day.
I can't wait to see what Monday has in store!!

"Hold me fast, because I'm a hopeless wanderer!" ~ Mumford & Sons

You Have Made My Memories, You Have Crafted These Souls

We are all here but for just a moment. We inhale, we exhale, and then we are gone. While I still occupy a body of bones, a mere temporary tent upon this planet, I want to give it my all. I want the Lord to look back upon my life and see that it counted for His Kingdom. Bear with me, for I have no strength of my own.

It's Three Weeks, I'm Going Insane

"I'm so tired, I haven't slept a wink.
I'm so tired, my mind is on the blink."
                       -- The Beatles

I Stand, Breathing

I enjoy dorm life, and am grateful that God has placed me at the Bible Institute, but I yearn for the days when I will live in a pint-sized writing cottage out in the woods somewhere. This morning the fog crept across the land and made morning something hazy.

"And indeed there will be time for the yellow smoke that slides along the street, rubbing its back upon the window panes." - T. S. Eliot 

I have these random flashbacks sometimes where I remember the woods, and what it felt like to stand in a forest, still. Outside of the arms of trees, I have the tendency to get 1) distracted and 2) hurried by life, so that I forget to just

stop

and breathe. I ventured into the previously uncharted territory of Doing Yoga today and felt really peaceful just inhaling. I'm constantly going, moving, rushing around. This verse came to mind:

"But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, 'Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.' But the Lord answered and said to her, 'Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.'" ~ Luke 10:40-42

My only job is to sit at Jesus' feet.
And breathe.