TREES

"To be poor and be without trees, is to be the most starved human being in the world. To be poor and have trees, is to be completely rich in ways that money can never buy." ~ Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Heading back into the woods for Round 2! I am embarking on my second hike ever, on the Appalachian Trail, and this one promises to be darn difficult. There is talk of 602 stairs up a direct incline....and eight whole miles of climbing, climbing, climbing. This trip was decidedly spur the moment and almost entirely unplanned, but I'm sorta excited. There will be waterfalls and woods, prayer and peace, and certainly a savory amount of trail mix and turkey jerky. Bring it on! 

Silent Way

 "We were together. I forget the rest." -- Walt Whitman

Radiance & Splendor

It is truly remarkable to think that the only thing that will ever fill me is God and His Word. He is so luminous that anything else I try to fill myself with can only come off as cheap, an imitation, counterfeit, a knock-off, a lie. He is Holy and truly all I need. Just some thoughts after getting in the Word again this morning.

"I run in the path of Your commands, for You have set my heart free." ~ Psalm 119:32

Obsessions: Letters

There is something so beautiful, so timeless about letters. One of my sweet friends from camp and I have been sending each other postage, and let me just say, it really is an art form. I hope physical mail never ceases to exist, because there is a certain beauty to it. I love finding old postcards with notes already inscribed. It makes me wonder what the people who wrote them were like, and how the postcards ended up at a flea market, or antique store. And I often wonder what will happen to all the things I write, and if maybe someday someone will find my old scribblings for sale. Strange! But kind of cool.

>> I may or may not have gone *super insane* and purchased tons of wonderful beautimous stationery today. "Why not take a crazy chance?" said Hilary Duff. 

Illuminated

Luminary: {noun} A person who inspires or influences others, especially one prominent in a particular sphere.

There are many different types of lights. There are lights that you put on bedside tables, and lights that help you see in front of your car. There are lights that help you heat frozen pizza in your microwave, and lights that come on in the grocery aisle at Target and give you a good scare. There are even lights that have been placed in the sky to govern us. The sun, by day. The moon, by night.

But there is another type of light, a light that can't be found in external sources.

"In Him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it." ~ John 1:4-5 

The only reason we are animated at all, the only reason we can live and move and have a being is because Jesus is life, is light. He literally gives us the glow of our spirits, even if we do not know Him as our Savior. He makes living possible because He is luminosity embodied; in Him there is no darkness at all.

Light my path, and lead me on.

Let these tunes light up your life: here, here, and here~

Book Club #2

So, might I just say that with the lull of free time I have in between summer camp being over, and Bible college starting up, I have become quite the reader. As in, reading three books at once. As in, not caring if I'm in a different story every day. Because, books, people. Because books.


I have the bad habit of re-reading old favorites instead of moving onto a new book, and I must say I am guilty as charged with this one. I liked Matched well enough when I read it during my senior year, and since I am in a decidedly dystopian mood, I decided to pick it up again. Although, it will probably be the first to go if I can't keep up this three novel reading plan.

Read if: You're looking for something a little more gentle and poetic than The Hunger Games, but still love the gloom and doom of a totalitarian society.
Would you recommend it? Yeah, I guess. But there are better books out there.

Oh, Pride & Prejudice. As much as I enjoy Jane Austen, I have never actually read, in its entirety, one of her books. I started Emma over the summer, but quickly (and unfortunately) lost interest. So far, P&P has grabbed me, so I'm hoping to finish it, even though it's long. I love a good period piece!

Read if: You harbor a secret desire to wear petticoats and attend evening balls.
Would you recommend it? CHILD YOU KNOW THAT I WOULD

I remember reading The Giver in seventh grade, but I haven't picked up the book since. My sister was kind enough to let me borrow her copy, and I'm trying to reread it before I see the movie. It's well-written, and once again, dystopian, which I love. Plus, it's short (under 200 pages), so it'd be great for a quick, end-of-summer read.

Read if: You like good books.
Would you recommend it? Yes. Yes I would.

Adventures with Momma

For a while, I've wanted to spend an early morning with just my mom, going out and doing fun things "on the town". Today was that day! We woke up at the crack of dawn and went out to one of our favorite breakfast spots. I got a bowl of oatmeal with fruit and poached eggs, and we talked about our lives. It was a great, joyful time. We even got to talk to a sweet friend of my mother's we saw in another booth on the way out. And then we went thrifting!

Cost: $0.25

So I decided to purchase this dashing graphic tee on the grounds (yes, that's a coffee pun) that I would be sporting it quite frequently when I head off to Bible college in three weeks. (Three weeks!!) During the summer, all anyone would talk about was making Dunkin runs, and I would look forward to grabbing little sugary snacks from there whenever we went out. This year at the Bible Institute will be no different. I will dunk those donuts in style, folks.

Cost: $0.25

Back when I was in my let's-watch-every-single-movie-Andrew-Garfield's-ever-made phase, I purchased the movie version of Never Let Me Go and watched it one night with my sister. It was a fairly good film, but I had no idea that it was a book. Lo and behold, there it was on one of the bookshelves at the thrift store. It has a couple marks in it where someone underlined some sentences, but otherwise a good purchase.

Cost: $0.25

And then there's this. An old hardcover copy of The Catcher in the Rye. I've yet to read it, but my family is always telling me that although it is a rough read, it is one I need to experience. I'm currently reading about 100,000 books right now (more to come on that later) but I think I'll have to add it to the list. I love my copy!

Total Time Spent: 3.5 hours

Total Money Spent: $0.75

Total Smiles Had: More than I can count 

Film Friday #5

So there's this photo of my mom when she was a teenager, with fluffy hair and sassy eye makeup, and every now and then when I'm rummaging through the box of old film photos I keep underneath my desk, I look at it. It is one of my favorite photographs of my mother, ever, even though she wasn't my mother yet, just a kid smirking in church. I love everything about it -- I can't say just why, but it gives me the impression that my mother had a streak of rebellion in her, even then.

Today, the two of us are going out for an early morning breakfast (we're talking the crack of dawn, people) and then going to hit up some garage sales. #thegrannylife But I wouldn't have it any other way.

Days Are Just Drops in the River

Remembering the time my family traveled to Georgia last summer and stayed in a cabin right off the river. In the mornings I would sit on the dock and eat blueberry muffins and stare out at the water, which was chilled, despite it being summer, and write. We would take hikes and sit on the front porch and marvel over mountains as we passed through town. My sister and I shared a bed in a warm little room and had midnight talks about life and Bon Iver songs. The trip was inspiration, and chocolate chip cookies, and Fleet Foxes. And I think about it every now and then, because up in the mountains, up in the forest -- that's where I want to be.

"Life Is Too Short Not to Make Pancakes at 1 A.M."

While admittedly this is not the most glamorous photograph of a blueberry pancake ever taken, and although the image does not do my sister's final, insane creation the justice it so rightly deserves, it will have to suffice. For no reason at all, my sister decided at 1 a.m. that she needed pancakes, and when your sister needs pancakes, you let her make them. And then you sit and eat up the offerings and wonder how you got so lucky as to have a mad chef of a sibling.

tales from the kitchen~

Inspiration: Meadows

     Sitting at my desk, writing my novel, and all I can think about are meadows and eyes and mornings.
     All images found by searching here.

The light, which was breaking, made the forest navigable. There were patches of day visible just beyond the cracks in the canopy above. By that dim green light, I walked on. And the forest floor was sharp and full of pine needles that scratched and punctured the soft flesh of my feet, but there was nothing like feeling, and no place I’d rather be.

Obsessions: Vinyl

At the risk of sounding like a complete "cultured", too-cool-for-you hipster type, I would like to say that one of my current obsessions right now is vinyl.

I know it gets old hearing all the relentless twenty-somethings babble on about how much they love an old format they weren't even alive to understand, but I'm glad that records are something that have survived the decades so that I am able to enjoy them.

My college is situated right around an artsy, thriving downtown area, and exploring the city means browsing a lot of vinyl at the local record store. I may be one music and word obsessed girl, but I find visits to the bookstore and record shop so enjoyable. I could literally be there for hours, sifting through titles and albums.

I think that it's more fun to splurge on something when there's somewhat of a special occasion for it. This year I'm on staff for my university's newspaper, but I haven't touched any of the earnings. In a sort of way to reward myself, and celebrate the end of my third semester of college, I bought this beauty at my favorite record store. It's a perfect album for vinyl; it sounds haunting and ancient and gorgeous at the same time. I wasn't a massive Coldplay fan before, but this record changed my mind. It's an absolute piece of art.

Films: Pride & Prejudice

"I have not the pleasure of understanding you." 

Musical Men Mondays

Bob Dylan again
Beatles
...?

Films: Divergent

I will admit that I was skeptical of Divergent at first. I love a good dystopian novel or film, but I was tempted to believe it was just another book trying to imitate the success of the wildly popular Hunger Games series. But, I love Shailene Woodley, and Miles Teller, and Ansel Elgort, and I love watching movies with my family, so when I sat down to watch this film Saturday night with my parents and sister, and was pleasantly surprised.

Satisfied Sunday: Dunkin

I have always considered myself a Starbucks girl, even though I don't drink coffee. Starbucks was always my default spot to hang out with friends when I wanted to catch up, especially when we wanted to have a little Bible study. But over the summer, that changed. On the route to camp, there was not a Starbucks in sight! However, there was a Dunkin Donuts. It shortly became my mecca for delicious Oreo themed beverages, and -- of course! -- doughnuts. Tonight my sis and I hit up our hometown Dunkin for a little treat, and had some delicious Coolatas and Munchkins. We may not be back at camp, but we were still able to recreate a little bit of that summertime life. #doingtheDunkin

Thanks, God, for the little things -- pastries and smiles and an evening of unplanned fun.

Films: The Village

Ivy: When we are married, will you dance with me? I find dancing very agreeable. Why can you not say what is in your head?

Lucius: Why can you not stop saying what is in yours? Why must you lead, when I want to lead? If I want to dance, I will ask you to dance. If I want to speak, I will open my mouth and speak. Everyone is forever plaguing me to speak further. Why? What good is it to tell you you are in my every thought from the time I wake? What good can come from my saying that I sometimes cannot think clearly or do my work properly? What gain can rise of my telling you the only time I feel fear as others do is when I think of you in harm? That is why I am on this porch, Ivy Walker. I fear for your safety before all others. And yes, I will dance with you on our wedding night. 

Film Friday #4

If there's any couple on Earth that married for love, the prime candidates would undoubtedly be my grandparents, the mother and father of my own dad. They were fiery, passionate people, on fire for the Lord and inexpressibly in love with each other. They were also insane: they got hitched when my grandmother was only 16; my grandpa was 22. I have never seen such an unwavering love as the love they had, and I doubt I ever will.

It's weird looking at these photographs because I can see so much of my dad in both of their faces! These shots are a good reminder that life goes quickly -- one moment, you are an insane teenager, the next, you're somebody's grandparent. But they were insane grandparents!! They never did lose their spontaneous spirit.

I know these will all be stories some day, and our pictures will become old photographs. We all become somebody's mom or dad. But right now, these moments are not stories. This is happening. ~ The Perks of Being a Wallflower

In other news, there is a third photo that I cannot currently find, and it is really The Photo of my grandparents that I love most in all the world. It is a shot of the two of them wearing matching argyle sweaters at a picnic. Keep in mind that my grandfather was a pretty brawny dude. His physique did not exactly scream "argyle sweater", nor did it particularly radiate "picnic", for that matter. But love makes you do crazy things, and that, my good people, is beautiful.

Satisfied Sunday: Home

After spending an entire summer crammed into a tiny dorm room with 5 other girls [and one fish, before he passed away, bless his heart], I can say wholeheartedly that there are quite a many things I appreciate about being home. Not to conflict with my previous post about wanderlust, but I do want to take time to say just how very thankful I am for all of these wonderful little things:

>> A washing machine that is not coin-operated
>> Being able to drive my truck wherever I want, whenever I want
>> The dusty record player I use on the daily
>> Writing my novel until 4 am
>> Honey Bunches of Oats....with Almonds!!
>> A little bit of solitude
>> Being able to go online and talk to friends that I miss dearly from camp
>> Magazines
>> My own personal quiet time with God

Starving Artist House

I started writing again, only this time, a different story came out.

He did not mind waiting; on the contrary, Margaret’s ill-timing had actually become something of a secret, giddy joy for Oliver, whose own chair was pressed up against the side of a large-paned glass window. It actually worked out quite well for him, for his fiancé’s frequent unpunctuality gave way to his favorite pastime in all the world: people watching. 

Restoration

I don't know why I run from the Word, because my soul needs it. I have never regretted spending time with God reading the Bible. I can't rely on myself or other people or even a wonderfully delicious bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats to cheer me up. And I can't come to the Word expecting to get a "quick fix" or a little tidbit of Scripture to patch myself up. I have to take time to intentionally study the Word of God and go to it for truth, to reshape how I see the world around me.  

When my spirit grows faint within me, it is You who know my way. ~ Psalm 142:3

A Mini-Playlist Regarding Restoration of the Soul:

> "Dry Bones" by Gungor
> "Lord, Save Me From Myself" by Jon Foreman 
> "Wasteland" by Needtobreathe
> "Oh Great God, Give Us Rest" by David Crowder Band

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You. ~ Isaiah 26:3

Wednesday

Three friends sitting in a living room, doubled over in laughter.
A big bowl of cereal with not enough milk.
Someone's old sweater, two sizes too big.
Last night's inspiration feverishly scribbled upon a table top.
A window.
A pink sky.
Eyes that have lost their exhaustion, but none of their excitement.

 "Every minute is a memory.
  You don't exist; you're just a ghost to me."

Thanksgiving

Thank You for bringing amazing people into my life. Thank You for helping me form friendships that will last even into eternity. Thank You for being the life in this body, the sanity in this soul, the peace of mind to which I can always go. God, You are my God, and I will ever praise You.

Portrait of a Little Lady

   Today, you found a polka dotted dress at the thrift store for only five dollars (five dollars!) and you had always wanted a polka dotted dress, so you purchased it and took it home and wore it with the black boots and sheer tights you wear all your dresses with. And you fixed yourself a cup of tea and sat down at the wooden dining table that we have sat so many times before. You wanted to write a letter, so you lit a candle and grabbed your quill pen and started writing. You are my sister, and you are not the person you were when you were fifteen, and you are not the person you will be when you are older, and maybe even years from now you will look back and despise that polka dotted dress in the same way you despise your dress of old. One thing is for certain: you are growing, and emerging, and thriving. Quite fittingly you showed me this quote from an author you had no idea existed, back when we still had bony legs and knobby knees:

At fifteen you had the radiance of early morning, at twenty you will begin to have the melancholy brillance of the moon. ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald 

And that's all I have to say on the matter.

Stories From Summer 2014: Potato Potato Potato

So, I'm not really sure how to go about tackling the Insane Massive Burden that is posting about how my entire summer at camp went, so I figured I'd share with you in segments. Realistically, I could draw these stories out for a good month, or more; the world may never know. Therefore, I give you yet another feature on the blog: Stories From Summer 2014!

First off, I would like to say that 

One. I do not advocate urinal selfies on regular conditions but 

Two. We were forced to clean the dudes' bathroom, so I think that 

Three. This is entirely justified. 

Anyways. 

I don't know if you have that friend, that friend who is willing to go on adventures with you, and just frankly understands your sense of humor without you having to try, and might even be willing to have Deep Personal Life Chats with you while sitting on the bathroom sink, but if you do not have that friend, my good man, please go out and find that friend. Because they will brighten your life significantly. 

At the beginning of the summer, and even before I arrived at camp, I never expected to make a friend like Maddie. She and I grew so close over our two months working at the front desk, and I am so incredibly blessed that God allowed me to be a part of her life for this season. From Shakira selfies to prayers on the swing, from shopping for sweaters to writing a song about potatoes, and from secretly stalking and giving nicknames to some swell sirs, we did it all. Oh, Maddie. I already miss you!

In all seriousness, it was wonderful to meet this woman of God and to encourage her in her walk as she encouraged me. She is a friend for life, and I'm so grateful I got to meet her. #gerbilgerbil #potatobaby #pgatp

Rivers & Roads

For the soundtrack to my wanderlust, click here.

I've always been the type of person that enjoyed coming home. After any trip, whether long or short, I was always eager to hole up in my room again, listening to records and reading books in bed. But after spending an entire summer away from home, I see that there is not a single thing tethering me to this town, this place. Perhaps my parents, but they, too, wish to start somewhere new. And I never thought I would be so eager to get away from home, to seek solace in a new place, but I can't imagine life any other way now.

My sister and I sat down in our neighborhood Starbucks today, with people that looked Vaguely Familiar milling about. It is summer, and everyone I grew up with is around, but somehow that does not comfort me. I wish to be starting over, beginning again, heading out of the familiar and into the absolute unknown.

Luckily (and luck has nothing to do with it), God has provided these next few years of absolute adventure for me. I have no idea what I'm going to do after this next year of Bible college, which in itself was completely unexpected. Will I return to secular school and get my degree? Will I continue on in my Bible education? Or will I share an apartment with my sister in some unknown place and write and make music and live moment by moment, day by day?

I don't know.
And now, finally, I relish that.

10 Things That Are Blue

Eyes of sapphire;
My current emotions;
The vast and tender sea;
The expansive navy-black curtain of a night sky;
The paisley pants my sister has left on the dining room table;
My couch;
The T shirt print of my favorite Needtobreathe album;
Blood contained in unexposed veins;
A patch of flowers that grows outside sometimes;
Yogurt.

~I won't tell you your color. 
 Stop asking.