The Heart

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I'm back home for a couple of days! I've spent the last two weeks working at my favorite camp to earn a scholarship for Bible college, and my dorm room already feels like home. Change is not something I'm usually eager about, but God is helping me through it each and every day. And boy, is He speaking into my life.

This week, He's been focusing on my heart. Oh, my heart. It is so wicked. The closer I get to God, the more I see all of my flaws -- but not only does He want to help change them, but His power works perfectly in my weakness.

Part of the problem with my heart is that I'm so self centered. I learned today that when I'm so focused on myself, I'm not seeing the perspectives and plans of others. Even God's! I'm so focused on myself and my light and momentary troubles that I just don't see the needs of people all around me. And if I'm not seeing others' needs, I'm not going to want to share the Lord with them.

Another thing: so often I think that other Christians lack struggles. It's tempting to believe that they have it all under control, but after two weeks of hanging around a group of the strongest believers I've ever known, I realized that even these people have worries, fears, insecurities. Living in the world will do that to you. Life is tough.

But God is changing my heart and perspective, and I need that. I'm learning to saturate myself with His Word.

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me! ~ Psalm 51:10